A weekly series of riffs in 200 words
I spent five hours in a shopping centre yesterday and I have a few things to get off my chest.
- Isn’t it time Just Jeans changed its name? When they opened, however many eons ago that was, I think they really did sell ‘just’ jeans. These days, they’ve got tops and dresses and shirts and all sorts of apparel. Could they be ‘Jeans and heaps of other Stuff’ or ‘Apparel [including jeans]’?
- Do all shoe-makers (Diana Ferrari excepted) think that everyone who wears a size nine-and-a-half or above really wants to draw attention to their feet by flopping around in unflattering boats in boring colours?
- Can shop assistants half my age, please stop calling me ‘darling’ or ‘dear’? Even people I know don’t get away with that without ducking a slap.
- On that same note…when did we start using Ma’am? If I want to hear that sort of nonsense, I’ll go shopping in New York if its all the same to you.
- Once you’ve said hello and offered your assistance, please continue on with your business. I’m sure you have plenty to do and I know where to find you if I need help. Cheers.
The answer to Friday’s Fictionary Dictionary…Xylocarp is a fruit.